Posts Tagged ‘obama

23
Jul
09

Obama not born here! Actually, sent from the future to save humanity.

Shockwaves erupted today when the world learned of where the 44th president is really from, the future.  Sent from the year 2115 to protect the U.S. and prevent the rise of terminator robots that will ultimately destroy all of humanity.

Obama, as shown here destroy a helicopter with nunchucks while jumping a shark on a skateboard, is fully capable to handle the job.

Obama, as shown here destroying a helicopter with nunchucks while jumping a shark on a skateboard, is fully capable to handle the job.

“I know the people of the United States have a lot on their plates right now, the economic crisis has been putting a strain on families all over the country.  For the country to move forward we are shutting down these terminator manufacturing facilities. Their would be no outcry over loss of these jobs, if only for one day the American people could see the fiery futuristic hellscape I’m from, on the flip side cars fly and thats pretty cool.”  The President is quoted as saying.

"Without the revenue that humanoid killing machines bring into this town is just going to fall apart."

"Without the revenue that humanoid killing machines bring into this town, it's just going to fall apart."

The workers who lost their  jobs don’t feel the same way.  “He just comes in here and is all I’m from the future futuristic hellscapes and what not.  I got a family to feed. ” says Skip McGee “I’m the fourth generation terminator plant worker, I though my kids would be plant workers.  Without the revenue that humanoid killing machines bring into this town, it’s just going to fall apart.”-

28
Jun
09

Adamantium claw surgery successful in lab rats.

You asked for it and Doomsday Industries made it happen, adamantium claws have been successfully applied to a rat skeleton.

Chosen as a test subject for his mysterious back story.

Chosen as a test subject because of his mysterious past.

Next week human trails begin.

28
Jun
09

FDA approves pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.

After over 2 years of lobbying the FDA finally approves the drug Bitcherol, a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends. Another win for Doomsday Industries.

Donna thinks we're kidding.

Donna thinks we're kidding.

27
Jun
09

Back to drawing “borg” for family friendly cyborg zombie.

In an unsuccessful attempt to rid zombies of their hunger for living flesh, the Undead Division of Doomsday Inc., has had most of their team eaten.

Actual event not tis wacky.

Actual event not nearly this wacky.

The team believed that hardwiring a special microchip to a zombies brain, as well as giving it chainsaw hands and laser eyes, may suppress the flesh eating impulse, sadly they were wrong.

The zombie has since been reprogrammed to be a lumberjack, with laser eyes.

The Next Step

The Next Step