Posts Tagged ‘kickboxing

29
Jun
09

Face stabbing proven to reduce stress.

In an effort to help people relax, Doomsday Industries has researched the most effective way to manage stress. Simply face stabbing.

For years you’ve known it was true. You come home after a tough day, sat in your comfortable chair, and maybe turned on the television or read a book when really you wanted to be  stabbing an annoying co-worker in the face.

Stabbing someone in the face can reduce stress as shown in this computer simulation.

Stabbing someone in the face can reduce stress as shown in this computer simulation.

Studies have also shown this technique is not effective for the person being face stabbed

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28
Jun
09

Adamantium claw surgery successful in lab rats.

You asked for it and Doomsday Industries made it happen, adamantium claws have been successfully applied to a rat skeleton.

Chosen as a test subject for his mysterious back story.

Chosen as a test subject because of his mysterious past.

Next week human trails begin.

28
Jun
09

FDA approves pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.

After over 2 years of lobbying the FDA finally approves the drug Bitcherol, a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends. Another win for Doomsday Industries.

Donna thinks we're kidding.

Donna thinks we're kidding.

27
Jun
09

Giant ass-kicking robot, finally a reality.

Thanks to the innovation of Doomsday Industries, the day of the giant kickboxing robot has finally arrived.

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Harnesses the power of roundhouse kicks.

I know many were opposed to the idea at first, understandably. We may be depending on a giant man crushing robot that could possibly be turned against us for safety .

Thankfully, everybody finally agreed that a giant kickboxing robot could be useful against a 10 story tall prehistoric animal that may or may not know kung-fu, not to mention how awesome it would be to pilot, especially for somebody who does not kickbox.

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Better safe than sorry.

First test is set to launch July 20th, pending more roundhouse kick tests.

Updates to follow.